Sunday, July 1, 2012

Aim Low, Boys. They're Riding Shetland Ponies.

The island of Roi Namur is the home to a US military base.
And like any military base I have no doubt there are tons and tons of missions/operations that are being done here that are above my level of clearance to know. That's how military bases operate….and I am very cool with that. 

One thing on Roi that is impossible to hide is Altair. Altair is the world's strongest radar. Oh…it's also about 400-500ft tall. It is obvious and apparent almost every place you can go on the island. 

When I say this radar is strong I mean it is dangerously strong. It's like this: The planes that fly to Roi from Kwaj have the standard safety documentation in the seatback in front of you. These documents show how the seat can be used as a flotation device, they show where the exits on the plane are, etc. But on this flight there is an extra little document.

This document says something to the effect: The area you are entering contains the strongest Radar Frequencies on Earth. This can cause bodily harm. If you experience warm sensations in your eyeballs or testicles report to the infirmary…………..

WAIT!!!! WHAT!!?!? 

At this point I'm continuing to read very carefully.

The document goes on to say the radar is more intense the higher you get therefore no one is allowed to climb anything on Roi. If you are going to climb above 15ft you must get written permission from the proper authorities on the island before climbing.

As you might have gathered, I plan on monitoring my testicle sensations extremely closely (more than normal) and heeding the non climbing instructions very carefully once we land on Roi.  

We arrive and our sweet host, Laura, says "I know you must be tired. Let me take you to your rooms."

I'm thinking that settling in and taking a nap will take my mind off of the stay low to the ground or your testicles get broiled thing.

We arrive at the apartments where we will be staying and Laura passes out the keys.


I've been sleeping on the floor and belly crawling to the bathroom. 

1 comment:

  1. That's crazy!!! I think I'd rent a car and sleep in it!