Costume Party For Words (Part 3)

In order to cleanse my mind of anything logical and get ready to create a few songs this afternoon, I used one of my goofy mental exercises. Namely, turning words inside out and making them mean something other than what they are supposed to. Here are today's results. : (By the way: I think everyone should have some fun with words sometimes. Do it and let me know of some funny definitions you come up with)



Newsstand - What reporters have to do while waiting on a story to break

Copperhead - The nickname I give the fake tan, gym rats when they have their fresh coat of orange paint (NOTE: This is a nickname I call them VERY VERY quietly)

Rosebud - your friend at the florist

Bedrock - an action that may happen after visiting your rosebud.

Rattlesnake- thieving infant

Foreground - golf course

Shortchange - switching summertime wardrobe

Lunchbox - What happens when someone tries to steal my sammich

Mailbox - How pugilistics used to be before Laila Ali and her colleagues integrated the sport

Toolbox - the next step of making the sport open to all, an all douchebags division is instated. If either gets knocked out we all win.

Sandbox - amateur impromptu bouts that could be qualified as Toolboxing at the beach (usually stemming from a volleyball dispute or a bikini clad girl)

Background - What the loser of a Tool boxing match feels.

Starfish - it used to be just a regular old fish, It gets in one Disney film and nows he's mister big shot.

Goldfish - the executive producer for the Disney film which made Starfish a Star

Teapot - what they drink in Colorado

Fireplace - shooting range

Popcorn - dad's horrible sense of humor

Sweatshirt - time to do the laundry

Oatmeal - three times a day for a horse

Meatloaf - prevented by the little blue pill

Bedspread - step one when making a bed angel

Worksheets - step two when making a bed angel

Snowflake - indecisive skier

Meatball - worst and most blunt pick up line in history

Woodpecker - I'm gonna recommend a good sanding before use

Airbag - what you get when you buy potato chips

Aircraft - indirectly what someone who makes balloon animals is doing

Airline - day one at balloon animal college

Bridegroom - now legal in a few states

Bucktoothed - eating venison

Backhoe - well….yeah

Ballplayer - come on man, not in public

Barcode - don't grope the girls, throw up on the dance floor, or pass out while ordering a drink

Battlecry - really bad for the morale of the soldiers (and your reputation)

Birthplace - vagina

Birthrate - "Mrs Jones you have a healthy baby boy, but I have to deduct a few tenths of a point for the dismount. I'll give it 8.7"

Birthright - The skill Mrs. Jones is gonna have to work on if she wants to get that score up next time

Blockbuster - most Karate demonstrations

Bobcats - man they hate it when you do that

Cardboard - after 6 hours of a poker tournament

Cheapskate - makes it hard to not fall down during the Hokie Pokie

Chickpea - squatting

Childproof - the 3rd positive pregnancy test

Clockwise - those who master time management

Downscale - goal for a Jenny Craig member

Copycat - I'm gonna eat, lay around, and lick myself…just like felix

Cookwear - I don't know. I can't find him either and we have customers waiting for lunch

Cookout - reason the cook can't be found

Crosswalk - pretty painful according to the Bible

Crossword - INRI

Downfall - I'm not really sure how else you can do it

Downplay - a pillow fight

Forecast - about the point at which I begin wondering if I will get a bite

Ghostwriter - I'm guessing uses invisible ink

Halfback - a darn good rebate

Hedgehog - Hoarder in the Lowe's landscaping department

Highlander - Denver native

High school - CU

Housekeeper - What every homeowner is when the market is down

Network - A good way to catch fish

Nightstand - a security guard's job

Outcropping - where you can find the farmer

Overbooked - that feeling you get on Exam week

Overseer - a world traveler

Pickax - The obvious choice when excavating and given the option of spoon or ax

Redwood - you should probably get that looked at

Superimpose - what some house guests do

Underdog - Earth

Undergrowth - Earth

Understand - Earth

Underwater - Earth

Underworld - thin layer of atmosphere then a bunch of space

Wasteland - putting in yet another strip mall

Wisecrack - the drug of choice for intelligent people

Workshop - the means and ends of a woman's mission in life

Costume Party for Words

Words are with the songwriter day in and day out. They are vitally important to the craft of songwriting (non instrumental songwriting anyway). Since, I've been a songwriter my whole life, I have a deep love affair with words and language (which is just a way to package them and present them).

Because I'm so intimately involved in the world of words I like to treat them like my colleagues or my friends. I like to stop work every so often and just have a little fun with these "friends". (I hope everyone is reading this in a Bob Ross voice, because that's how it is intended).

Today I decided to have a little fun by simply looking at some common words or phrases and then intentionally forgetting their meaning. Once it was just me and the words sans definition, I wondered if I could come up with some "alternate definitions" that these words COULD be defined by. I basically let the words have a costume party for a day. Try it yourself. It's fun. Here's what I came up with:


Extra ordinary- way more average than the rest

Manifest- party girls have when they all get their nails did. (opposite of pedifest)

Psychopath- bad choice of ways to walk home.

Brain Freeze- I have this a lot when I'm trying to remember someone's name or remember where my keys are

Fireworks- as evidenced by ashes

Babysitter- Stop doing that.

Somebody- what I go to the beach to see

Forklift- v. Only way to eat pasta

Cocktail party- no comment

Infamous - more than famous (ibid "Three Amigos")

Bashful- adj meaning of a nature likely to attack physically

Liability- skill characteristic of back stabbers and cheaters

Willy-nilly - in need of Viagra

Backfire- something to definitely wanna avoid. If it occurs , stop drop and roll.

Underarm- can be a plethora of things depending on the angle and location of the arm. Common things that are underarm : girlfriend, seat back, guitar,....


Firearm- follow same procedure as if backfire. Hopefully there was no girlfriend under it at the time

Sunbathe- that's gonna hurt. And how did you get up there?

Key stroke- that panic feeling when you have a brain freeze and don't know where your keys are

Underdog- where puppies go to drink

Repairman- aka a doctor

Ballroom dancing- trying to move in such a way as to be less constricted in these tight underwear

Nutcracker - clothing that is usually the cause of ballroom dancing

Forbid- might stand a chance on winning (on eBay)

Teamwork- what a coach has to do in the offseason

Carsick- ready to just pick one and buy it already. Uggggggh

Waterproof- the weakest alcoholic beverage possible

Afterlife- death

Drawbridge- simple round in Pictionary

Setback- what I need a chiropractor for

Underclothes - the floor of my room

Footnote- barely legible

Moonstruck- how the hell did that happen ?

Sideshow- aspect of woman's outfits that I like.

Headlight - an idea

Duckbill- AFLAC payment

Bellboy- has a hard time sneaking up on anyone

Handout- oh. You lost your glove too?

Skylight- the Sun

Mothball- tiny insect testicle

Showoff- a gig cancellation

Eyewitness - an optometrist

Superimpose- being the best at getting in the way and being a burden to someone

Watchtower- boring job

Nevermore - <